To feel the wind in your hair as a child does giggling in the swing, oh what innocence held so tight in their hearts, knowing all to well as an adult that it won’t last long. They so sweetly believe what you tell them with open affection that only a child can possess not knowing in those first few years that they can use it against you in order to get what they want. Unfortunately they do learn this, like we all did.
Now that I am older wish that this hadn’t been learned and could see things as they are told without questioning when it comes to the Bible. There are so many questions that if they could only be removed from my mind so that I can learn with the two “P’s” Proper attitude and Perspective.
I question what I see and read wondering if it’s really there on the paper or in my mind and it’s so clear feel it is in the print but it can’t be because it lends towards the wrong direction. At times question why I didn’t know all of this as a child?
Growing Catholic I must have been fortunate because none of the horror stories you hear happened in our congregation and we had an excellent priest who I still believe taught me well, this also makes me feel that God has his people in all places. Father Ryan taught us that in order to ask forgiveness in confession we must first realize we need to stop doing the sin. He was the first priest who I heard say that, as a matter of fact he told everyone at the pulpit that if we are to ask The Lord for forgiveness, not once did I ever hear we ask him or the Pope. He stated quite clearly that we were not to step into the confessional without remorse for our transgressions, so I grew up believing The Lords sees all and so that is what concerned me most in those years. Yes I did things that I regrets on and more often than not did wonder if the deed would be worth it and it wasn’t the assigned Hail Mary’s that stopped me that I didn’t mind at all, I didn’t want God mad at me.
I miss those innocent days of believing what I do matters without questioning, go to service, repent the rituals gave me comfort in an ever changing life now I’m afraid to step foot in through it’s doors. Do see that it’s not healthy and quite possibly a sheep in wolves clothing. It’s not the place that I long for it’s the mind of the child that I want. It’s services were simple, knew what and how I was to respond, the hymns, the place that felt holy inside with the stain glass and the cross staring down at you with what you had done to Jesus Christ. There was no way of walking in without feeling your guilt but at the same time understood His love.
I miss feeling the wind in my hair.
Copied from http://bible.cc/matthew/19-14.htm