Growth and Fleeting Moments and the Gall of that Fly

Setting out for a photo shoot wanting only picturef of growth for the challenge and it was a challenge, one that hadn’t been expected. Where does one go for finding a setting that would express growth and what does growth mean? According to it means as a noun the act or process or manner of growing; development; gradual increase.

So naturally I went to my place where normally  I seek to either kill time or to turn off my mind. Today was secured in this by not having a two year old along for the ride, had a break from the hot flashes. The weather was enjoyable with moist buttermilk clouds overhead threatening to pour down on me and I had a tiny bit of hope they would, just so I could reenact the Singing in the Rain movie in the solitude of the preserve.

In my meandering to find another lucky break of the dragonfly  to snap off just for Riley to see and it would be good for that photo challenge fleeting moments. Now there is a possibility that I have this incorrect but it is what came across as I snapped photos, maybe it’s my way of comprehending what happens when you go for catching movement on film, the flash of brilliance when time stops still only for the camera and no one else, except maybe for the Lord.

Growth returned to me as the trees and shrubs show signs of a past fire, scaring trunks and branches. For what purpose can harmful events do for them? And what about us, how can the Lord allow these to take place in our lives?  It was the main reason that I came to this path kicking and screaming that and not wanting to give up Metallica ( which by the way I am listening to right now and what no Tool music?)

And just look at that damage! What if we were to see mental damage from the transgressions we have done to one another and to ourselves? Don’t know about you but  I would be a lot more pitiful to set your eyes on. The things and stuff that I have been through even as a child still plague me to this day and when you hear others tales, it can make me sick.

More pictures more  snapping everywhere I went. My mind high on hopes of being snapped shut, none of this constant talking it does. which didn’t heed to my desires. It mumbled and grumbled on every foot step. It grew slightly quieter by my standards in the tunnel of branches and trees birds chirping, the monarchs sailing by that my poor excuse for a camera could not snap. This sad camera phone did capture a moment of growth and a fleeting movement towards the truth.

Tucked into its microchips was how a damaged tree finds growth, a renewal ignoring the assault it had taken and bloomed into a thing of beauty. It had been chopped up by man burned by nature and it was glorious to see. My eyes could not see anger, my heart found no ill will coming out of its bark, only humbled soft green leaves sproutings. With how many times I’ve walked the path without understanding that it had gone through a devastating wildfire.

A place I sought refuge and I wasn’t alone in doing so. There were birds nestled in their limbs, people strolling through speaking of their dreams as a couple that had passed me by. He spoke to the elegant older woman of this book, it was another writer. How pleased I was to hear his chit chat and didn’t know who he was, still don’t.

My camera tied up trying to still the two dragon flies screeching above me and when I went to bring this couple into my story that darn pesky fly swarmed around my eyes. In my swatting missed the couple as they disappeared into the brush. He annoyed me to no end and wouldn’t take my back handed swing as a sign to move along, he circled, buzzed and soon brought his friends to join me as they and I walked along, moving into new growth on a path.

They joined me when I stopped for a plant, a seedling of new growth all alone not another like him as far as my sight could see. It  was firm in place standing proudly for the  camera clicking on the phone. Was there a lesson in this?

Words of God speaks.

Maybe we have been through some bad things, maybe stuff that I would never speak about not counting the lost dreams of my youth are really terrible but maybe if I were still would come to rejoice in that I ‘m alive and breathing. Sure I am scared of this new path to be walking along but this tiny little plant had to be also and look at how healthy it is. What kind of person will I become once I am firmly in place like it was? Or what kind of person would I have turned out if my desire had seen the light of day?

As I was reflecting this lightly, entering in and out those flies worked overtime and they wouldn’t dare let me take a shot of them either. How rude!

They really got bad when a bird landed on the trail, hopping towards me. I ignored those brats and click my button and that camera jammed, tried it again, the bird drew nearer and it locked up. I reset the phone and had to swat at flies zigging all over the phone. But that bird was patient and waited for me so I could frame the fleeting movement my lesson for growth – patience.

My lesson did not end there and neither did my flies who had alot of gall in joining me. When I went for the lizard tucked into that burnt tree, if you look carefully you may find him. Trust me he’s in there but what I had before was perfect. His head poised, modeling for me and darn it they didn’t run straight into my eyeballs, missing the little lizard. I tried again and the never seizing annoyance was only able to freeze a glimpse of it. But the lesson of the burnt tree with the tiny springs of branches coming out of it didn’t get lost in the buzzing of flies. The tree was a source of refuge for that lizard and countless other creatures of the desert.

My path moved in waves trees over crowding the sky and in the bend brought me into the openness and in this place a desolation, plants that will not return as the others have. My fly was there with his friends and they followed me over the bridge.

They were at my sides , humming awful tunes in my ears, in my line of sight. They stayed there until I saw them for what they were. The desolation of the tree lying dead on the ground; where I would be if I had stayed away from my path. A name came to mind and when I said the name they went away.


They no longer were with me as  my growth grew moving along with the path, lined and marked on where to walk, guiding me safely. I looked up and saw that I was no longer alone. He was with me…

Our Lord and it was good.

I walked into a darkened trail no longer afraid of a mountain lion crossing hindering my growth and my mind was guiet…

Arriving at my place where it leads me home, this time having found the peace I so long to have…

Then I sat at my desk, I wrote and I wept and wrote gain and  wept and it was good!

Lost Lamb

** seedling is my photo challenge for growth


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