Break of dawn the night owl in me got up when it’s normally time to crawl in between 600 ct caramel sheets and I was hammered in getting out from my plush pillow topped mattress. Nailed down by sleepiness and not a left over of a Friday bar and bottle scene, those days gone long and many days ago, especially since it cost.
I was leaving for a Jeep Tour of the San Andreas fault that was going to happen before the heat kills all of those who brave an afternoon in a parched desert. Four thirty am and the warmth was getting ready to begin though it was turned away from the sun, it was like those rays of the sun were sneaking around the globe for spite. Maybe they’re called sun flares whatever I was soggy and reaching tepid level when I made a cup of hot tea like a dingy, out of habit. And my thoughts were as much on what should be blogged for today as they were on whether I will get the job of a naturalist guide. Personally think it’s be center on something else just incase I failed at being a passenger, now that would really suck. Maybe I should use a better more palatable choice for description like say bummer. I am after all trying as my title says learn my path towards God.(It would be more than a bummer though which is why I prefer the other)
Going on a trip seems like the likely candidate to write about, so many other things crept into my thoughts, it was as if all my connections with other people were being transmitted into how can I write about this? Could be a good thing and it was such a nice time having people to actually speak with and to listen to! The listening was as much missed as the me getting a chance to speak in anything that isn’t in the subject a toddler can understand. However Riley’s pretty smart, just yesterday I asked her if she were okay, looking rather sullen and she looked up and said I quote” I am just fine” Not fine or at 2 looking confused by the question, she knew what I was saying.
Sorry off track there and I feel it is from spending more time connected to the internet than people. I have my laptop and then I have the Nook that travels very well, may not always catch the WiFi but when that happens, the books and games are waiting for me. It’s making my attention span shortened. Been picking up that this has become an obsession and slowed myself down trying to re-discipline even my Bible is an app. Actually have one in paper , the Nook is simpler unless it locks up and it won’t flip on my touch (that brings out my inner traits of annoyance)
Then in slowing down on my jumping on the Nook so quickly on has left me behind on some really good bloggers posts the last two or three days and feel a bit out of the loop. You are my connection to everything outside my four walls. I have no money to just drive, join a group or even volunteer anywhere. (Live in a very small town that is out of the way) Sure I walk but the past week and half way too too hot! Burn your feet through the shoes hot and I am getting so tanned that soon people will be calling me the tanning mom like that one lady whose face was plastered everywhere a couple of months back.
It seems if you breathe differently they slap your pour soul on the screen, it annoys and yet I haven’t switched it off when it so deserves to be. Face to face conversations are so much rewarding and you know how a person looks is so deceiving! We see people looking so pretty – jealous gorgeous that I could very easy take them behind a bush and punch them so that their nose wouldn’t be so perfect ( then I would look better to another when standing beside them) That was the woman who came as a trainee. I could kick myself then her, she was really interesting and very kind, not vain.
We had Starbucks afterwards and she was telling my a little about herself. A writer who has been published Saturday Evening Post and other outlets, a former teacher and has several decrees in writing and teaching of course. It all added up to just puke on the woman!
She’s tall long blonde hair gorgeous pretty who has traveled and lived in so many foreign countries had great jobs, basically every woman’s worst nightmare. Most of the people from what I was told come there to spend their retirement hours in not being bored by doing something. It’s a hobby job so with her jewelry matched up that she was sitting quite well in the money department too.
Thankfully there was a blissful air, sure warm but not as bad as it led on to be and way better than it had been so I concentrated on not coveting all that she had. Having an environment that I hadn’t failed as passenger helped a whole lot. Believe me I prayed all the way there that nothing would happen to where I would make a fool out of myself. Envy was and is still a struggle even after finding out that she didn’t have a job because of the recession and recently had to move in with her folks. It’s so uncool when a teacher is not employed, so uncool and she sounded like she had to be one of the good ones with the way she spoke of teaching and all the work she did to get there and she was out of work.
Connecting face to face is a chance to find out the truth where on this thing called modernization of information at the touch of our fingers. I know most of what I see (speaking on the news stories, media garbage) is all based on what is sellable to us. They rarely have an interest in what is morally right, or even prepared with both sides of the story so that we may form our own opinions. Which is why I have enjoyed this last months of reading blogs, to hear what a person has to say, think without being edited by hyped over mainstream trash.
My reconnection to another came by phone, she poured out all her heartache. It was horrible being so far away and not be able to do something to relieve the pressure. This takes me to another random one that I want to send away into oblivion because it belongs with my “Why” blog – how do we know when we hear the Lord’s voice?
I wanted to write on it in hopes of actually hearing his message and if that were so then it would be such good news to pass on to my friend. Listening the other day, yes from my Nook sitting outside watching Riley on her swing to Joyce Meyers she sparked the question again, inadvertently. Normally I avoid listening to women speakers, why don’t know think I just like the sound of men’s voices and don’t have one of my own, other it’s a reminder of the cheerleaders asking me why all the surfers were hanging out with me in high school. All I could say to them was go ask them, how would I know?
See the Nook skipping around make me A.D. H.D….
Joyce was talking about how her tomatoes she grew were eaten up by bugs – I related because mine were too, she went on saying that she prayed over them and her neighbor didn’t and they were just fine. Then she said now it was funny I laughed until I was done then I was peeved – “I didn’t tell you to grow tomatoes so I’m not responsible for them”. Her deal is on You Tube do not recall the name of the broadcast.
Serious? The Lord said that? Not a complaint at all, I need to hear things that clear is all and so does my friend who is hip deep in alligators. She needs face to face time with people who can help her and she needs the Lord to speak in no uncertain terms of directions to get out of her pile of mess. This economy and having a son with mental issues does not help either.
I know everyone is drowning and it’s hard to hear anymore issues from another when we can’t resolve even the smallest detail, I just think life would be more enjoyable if we took some of this stuff away or kept it on a short leash, you rarely can speak with a teenager without them being plugged into their cell, buds attached to the ears. I have seen them texting each other when they are sitting side by side. A commercial for Verizon or whatever demonstrated this recently.
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. ” (KJV) Rev:3-20 KJV
“When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, ‘I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD’ –
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:3-5)
Rev 3-20 link:http://www.topverses.com/Bible/Revelation/3/20
Joyce Meyer’s don’t remember which one but she has several videos on You Tube