Archive | August 2012

Raw? I didn’t know!


One should ask questions before getting on a path of spiritual awaking or any path that lays ahead in life. Like for instant  and for some poops and giggles say you’re  given an invitation to go skinny dipping. My first reply  would be, after dark right? Because there is no way I will let anyone see me in this shape! It’s not that I am the one with the problem of it – it would be all the rest being in tormented for the rest of their lives that would have a say in the matter.

But at the same time the freedom of dipping into the water bare intrigues with a touch of delight. Just look at the picture, if that isn’t inviting what does then?  One of the first things I did when moving out from my crowded nest into my own place was spent being in the raw for a whole weekend. Grant you it was all incredible amount of release as long as I avoided mirrors and that was easy after figuring out all by myself where they were and just didn’t go anywhere near them. Freed of my outer wear and had no one to make excuses to. Walla what a time. It was forgotten all about  until I saw that headline on Yahoo about that family with 19 children and her plan to never experience the empty nest. Is she serious?

I would love to skip past this menopause stage if it were possible and  would love to have missed out on this part of God’s plan that left this one without a job, could you imagine how much greater our budget is if we skipped over paying bills? Definitely would want to pass on this shedding of the outer layers, hence the loss of employment and think it does lead towards insanity that I too would love to pass on. I think empty nest is part of life just as this miserable deal with aging and it is also a part of this path that I am dreading that is leaving me raw.

Raw grated over emotions  that have been blistered into being  exposed and nowhere to hide from the tearing  away of the old that lead towards death, unless one  exits the path then may find the Lord hardening your heart.  Personally think I could take on hell before taking on 19 children. Remember I am the one that does not have a natural mother instinct, which for the life of me can’t figure out why me  when so many are praying to have this placed upon them. Believe me I applaud those that are so willing and capable because it is the most challenging position out there.

This one is the rocker who loves to dwell on the idea of being cooped up in a recording studio days on end working on just one song repeatedly just so when its polished a person will enjoy the 3 to 4 minutes that they last. Instead of being able to pursue that career, the favorite down time is just plugging in through headphones to what others have done inside those windowless studios. Been a long time since stepping in wouldn’t be surprised if you find windows in there now. Either way what I am and have been living isn’t and has not been in the plans,  and trying to find a place where I do fit in is creating a lot of raw meat.

This rawness if I had known was a part of the path probably would have said ” Let me think about this ” then would have side stepped my way from the requester. Becoming a Christian is not for the weak and would say an empty nest is also a part of the path as well as other things we have no plans for because the Lord’s will – will always win.

Revelation 22:14ESV

Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates.

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P.S. Forgot one thing

When I left my place in the last blog be-bobbing to an old Live song “Pain Lies on the Riverside” an awesome funked up alternative with incredible and endurable lyrics forgot to remind every one of Greg Laurie’s’ Harvest America and also it’s important this is not just for America it is for all who want a secure future with our Lord Jesus Christ especially with all this talk of end of times that does feel so near. The event goes from tonight to Sunday please see what they have there will be a lot of music and great speakers too.

Here’s the link for connecting and praying that this is in God’s will and to be successful without glitches. Harvest America

Even me who is an avid rocker enjoys this video!


George please give a little flick to the ear when ever I say I or Me. Got it?

Fiendishly George’s handsome lips widens holding up his hand,  middle finger and thumb ready “Oh I sure got it”

” Yeah I say” TWACK!..

“George I’m” TWACK to the left the ear”

“Wasn’t ready”

George lets out a hoot “Hey just following orders,” he points to boobs on this person thinking it was by accident that is where his finger landed but he says like nothing happened  ” That you gave me by the way”

“Great ” eyes rolls over ” And  you George are always following these rule to the letter aren’t you! Fine .. Auh… ready to roll”

George and I …!TWACK!.. We with my …TWACK.. dang holding up a hand to the ear that’s a bit pink and this venture hasn’t even made it out the front door and this left ear that hurts “George you don’t have to be so good at this” This one cried out to her perpetrator.

Sun’s out humidity has drawn back we’re wearing shorts and tanks my ..TWACK!  Rubbing my right ear this time ready to choke him instead said very firmly “Hey George I “Blocking his next move once again ” Don’t even think about it just setting the ground rules to be more clearer got it”

“Hey the experiment is to not use anything that involves you and that means no my’s are allowed” as he displays his innocence before….ah ah oh forget it.

Slumped over “Fine fine”…. “So these feet are settled in a pair of modified tennis shoes,  to what they are now  sandals so this path that we will walk they the feet will be comfortable in their shoes”

The both of us in utter silence mostly because of this one’s afraid, ear stings from the rules but they can hear the bird tweets and a swarm of hidden bees up high in the tamarisk trees. They are providing our stroll a cooling relief ever so briefly  underneath them. George informs his sidekick that these trees were not from this area, they’re from Africa not knowing that they steal tons of  water to keep them so hearty, when all the settlers were looking for were wind breaks. He doles out the numbers of gallon it too many for my…TWACK! head. Hand consoles the right ear thankfully he’s laid off of the left it’s the one that has a little sting to it.

Our overhead shading has left and we are walking at a more heart healthy pace around the bend of the open sun’s arms, there is a sudden feeling to slow the pace but my….TWACK George devilishly flicks that sore left one when we both see it. His laughter is reeled in as quickly as our surprise was given.

A deer of the female kind was to our left only ten twelve feet away. She looking passed our heads we both move keeping in the same spot, towards the direction of hers concentration and neither one of us see anything. In unison we go back towards the deer chewing leaves. I ..TWACK” Dang it George” blink and she’s gone…

But not the memory of having called out ever so shamefully to all friends an acquaintances of,  in an email begging for a prayer request a couple of months back. Rent was under water about to find out what its’ like to be evicted an experience that this one never wanted to know but Our Lord who already had that taken care of had a great purpose for the prayer request….

My..TWACK..”Hey buddy this is important” trying hard to not scream he grins “Nope it’s not!”

Another “Fine” slips through these lips…

His son was about to meet with a deer later that day while driving down a back highway on his motorcycle. It was too bad for the deer lying dead in the road but when the Highway patrolman heard that a motorcycle had a run in with a deer he immediately called for a helicopter and what he saw amazed him, only the riders foot was broken with a deer down and it was too late for any aid to be given to the creature while the rider stood limping taking photo ops of the incident, pasting them to Facebook as he did so. Never knowing it was the result of a chain of prayers going out for this one that included a coverage over family members. The Lord is great indeed because no matter how much I ..twack… he looks shameful in doing it so it was a sparing flick to the ear.

A house is in need loosing your own child is greater pain. An experience know all too well having watched a sibling pass away too young and the damage to our family’s parents was harder to witness. Sister who was dying from cancer was just fine because she knew she was going home. Those that are left behind even knowing where that home is suffers in  agony.

Humbly we both move into the preserves path, working our arms and legs for a brisk walk of exercise. The birds are singing in harmony,  bees zip passed with no hurry, distance sounds of people in their vigils somewhere unseen but heard. With the humid air cut in half from the prior weeks this one was able to gallop out into the field as if a horse set out for freedom, again neither one willing to speak in order to not miss the next lesson. We came to an intersection of the path I..TWACK.. we took the low road the one rarely used, trudging through the reeds over growing the way, keeping the back of the shins with those sandal slash tennis, forgot the camera when the Monarch butterfly landed on one of the reeds breathing distance away and as that shoe nailed the back of the leg a good size dragonfly skimmed the brush.

George had no need in listening to self scolding stretched those muscular arms pressed on the way, these feet followed suit, arms duplicating his movements in tandem  we ventured further into the desert’s oasis. We rounded another loop, leaped over a fallen grey log up a ways way off the beat path into a cove a circular design by human for retreats. Benches with cup holders so this tangerine enclosed H2O was placed into one and these arms with to the never been used fire pit did bench presses there. George was doing it so why could this one? Well the arms and shoulders need more training and gave up at number six maybe they made to eight but certainly wasn’t ten the number in which was the goal.

So as he worked out underneath mountains strung high up above and were as expected to be found in the desert, rough jagged with little plant life while we are corralled by reeds, cattail, arrow brush of the Cahuilla Indians, trickles of a creek running under the decking. Songs of the birds were loud here no fear of disturbing anyones but fed this soul. Trees loomed higher than the blanketed underbrush that stood higher than the both of us. In the mist  were once was now skeletons of past living trees. The green, greens of emeralds, minty garnets and Peridot made the brash ashen stumps of charcoal blink.  Blue eyes of the soul checking out the scenery , charcoal stumps toppled over in the thrush others placed as the artist has done with their sculptures, standing right where their work becomes a focal point for artistian visitors.

George caught on to what these blues were gazing on and said in a whisper to the tainted left ear”Think that sculptor’s name is Lord” Shook a yes didn’t want a flick of the ear to intervene on purity in the solitude of this unexpected oasis of the desert. We both reluctantly left going back to the known path and when did we received a blast of noise from an unseen creature that sounded like a wild boar but do they live here? Can’t say it startled both of us and another couple when it was their turn to make that stretch.

All in all the exercise was more about keeping our focus and speak more on the Lord than ourselves and did make for a pleasant morning, outside this ear that thankfully had healed by no longer stinging.

And those nasty hot flashes went on hiatus!!

 1 Chronicles 16:11
Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His face continually.





















Sorry to say there was no George Clooney on this path, just this one with a vivid imagination…


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If a woman has a hot flash in the forest…..

and no one is around did it happen?….                                                             

Would it be the same philosophical questions as the ” If a tree fell in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”

I can’t seem to understand why that is a question at all. Of course a sound is made and yes when a woman has those nasty hot flashes it does make a sound and they are not nice sounds but rather ugly groans. Gauging by personal experience it snaps just as the trunk did before the harsh slam into the ground. Only difference from a tree and a woman under the duress of the body’s revolt and repulsing behavior is how one handles it and I am not handling it well.

Why for the first part of understanding my reactions that quite frankly are  not spoken about and that is really the first thing. It’s like we by we I mean me, am ashamed by this part of my aging transition. Hey got to remember its the youth who we (I) seem to find all our wisdom in and being old is not cool, so unnatural that we (I)  prefer to take on plastic surgry in order to avoid being what “Old”

Age is the tree falling and it does make a sound and why put it into a question like it were possible it didn’t happen. The Lord himself heard it and because we cannot see him and for me having a hearing impairment cannot hear his message doesn’t mean he’s not here with us as it says at the end of Isaiah 8:10 “and God is with us” And he does have a message and well in trying to behave that nothing is there or said or wrong, I accidentally begin doing this smashing of my power-driven steam-engine back under the skin nonsense.

Problem with that it will expel elsewhere and usually not where is should be. Like me yesterday sweltering from a personal sauna without a kill switch, ended up here on the blog. Guess this is a good place to apologize to everyone. So Sorry…:(

I’ve seen a few women very few who had no problem shouting they were hot then dashed out of the store into what I had seen a blizzard but she did light up like the red light district being raided. This hasn’t even been a subject addressed by my own mother. There is no idea what our family history is when it comes to all the questions of how long am I to be burning up in hell with these?

If it were just hot flashes it would be one thing but it runs a muck into my emotions and tears up my memory cells, its temporary it all comes back once the heat gets turned down and surprisingly manage a cat size nap for slumber. (That’s all you get before  drowning from night sweats, Thank God I’m single, hate to be arrested for drowning my spouse too)

So I fall down into the forest dense bug ridden mulch piled high by deadwood and leaves whining about what I cannot get a grip on when it comes to learning of our Lord. So what I do with all that heat is punish all of those around me. Silently not an out right swing of  penetrating heated rays zapping criminals. Oh no, that would be way too awesome to turn this crippling menopause into a super hero action figure. Could you just picture what that doll would look like? Hair standing on end, eyes twitching nails sharpened, bloody dripping  ready to dig into anything else that stands still and the voice (because it’s voiced activated one!) is shrieking absentees, electrical charges springing from pores and it would be surrounded in beaded sweat as she applies lips stick and mascara for a hundredth time.  Nah that would take too much logic to use it for good and  it usually  ends up messy nailing and grumbling to those who live with me and other innocent victims anyways.

About the question of if the tree falls this was and has been pondered since 1710 by Philosopher George Berkeley, in his work, A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge (taken from Wikipedia) I admit it’s an interesting idea if you remove the Lord from your thoughts otherwise what is there to think about? But that is and has been  happening for as long as there have been people who take what is placed into each of our hearts that there is a being more powerful and in control than ourselves. At the same time its understandable on why especially when my body is running havoc then it can also be really bad because who else am I going to blame for it?

Naturally and with shame have sent a few fisted blows towards our Creator, forgetting it wasn’t him that made this happen it was our sinful natures that really made the mess. The world is in as much of a  mess as are my hormones, we need to remember that this weekend August 26th is Greg Laurie’s Harvest America. Take a look at his website and pray that there will be some healing for ourselves and those who live here and throughout America. Or else you might get a visit from a  hot flashing beastly woman. If she can figure out how to make it turn on by command and not when it suits it! Which is basically what you can say about how I have treated Our Lord, pay back can be a real b*#%@!

So as a tree falls in the woods, making a sound where would the Lord find you when he comes?  As in….

Luke 18:8

 I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?

Link to Harvest America: Harvest America

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Hit that? Nah, think I missed it!

I’m listening to The Offsprings “Hit That” and it is crying out all the things that are strangling the society and yet as I am baby stepping onto my path moving by micros towards the Lord and see that I am not writing posts like other members of the Christian faith. Kinda leaves with maybe it’s time to pack it in. There is no way I will ever be what others perceive me to be doing, never been able to get into that box of any kind.

My best subject in school – theology.  I can take a song and twist it around until it makes perfect sense (to me) I can do it with any of the music and see God in them. In my baby steps remember ‘What about Bob?” That’s me, baby step to the curb, to another verse in the Bible. In thinking is this the time to step it up and then I recall when that was done before , my nerves are still fractured from when I did do that.

Oh it was so painful, that has lasted longer than child-birth and beyond raising the children. Now I found the Lord again in a place where I shouldn’t have a book titled”Butterflies are Free to Fly ” by Stephen Davis. He calls it a new and radical approach to spiritual evolution, made it to chapter 13 and almost wondering if I should pick it back up again, because I am losing my perspective on accepting what the Lord places in front of me.

Tired of complaining like in the that song ‘Satisfaction” placed a couple of days back and feel guilt for seeing things that others are not. Are my eyes in need of the optometrist? More like a head shrink is needed to be called upon but I won’t because of not  believing in quick fixes and I honestly don’t think the Lord is big on them either.

What I do know is that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savor and in believing in Him I am saved from a damnation in hell. Is there really anything else more important?

Once I can accept my faults and start to be able to love thyself will be able to do more than pray for others in the  meantime I have The Offsprings quirky tune as a reminder on why I need to stay on this course so I don’t hit then miss it.

Psalm 16:11 reads, “You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence  is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

I wonder if its time though for another to take over this blog? What do you suggest?


Here’s The Offspring “Hit That” video found on:

Bible verse taken from :Article Source:

I am sickened…those pour cows!

Just look at their faces and tell me how people

can mistreat these animal?

Please someone answer this…..If not to me to our Lord because those that are cruel to his animals what will they do to his people?

 I am right sickened by what I had seen of the video of In-n-Out pulling their business from the beef supplier who is severely mistreating cattle. First of all cows are none threatening and look at those eyes in these pictures. Just horrible and they did not even show the whole thing they said it was too much to stomach.

How can those people and the company be so heinous to the Lord’s animals?

As far as I am concerned I will not be buying anymore meat! Guess it’s the feather to tip the scale since I have  been considering becoming a vegetarian and with how cold the corporate world has become this has to be without a doubt to be epidemic.

Speaking of corporations being heartless I congratulate In-n-Out for taking action the moment they found out and thankfully I can get their veggie style sandwiches and those delicious fries, a place that aims for doing business with honor and integrity.

This news reel is right here, careful it’s very sad to watch…..          In-N-Out pulls out on the beef supplier  

Proverbs 12:10ESV / 20 helpful votes

Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.

Proverbs 27:23 ESV / 12 helpful votes

Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds,


I keep jumping back on because of the image is making me sick, the cows were in such bad shape they could not stand, something has to be done because I am serious if a person can bring harm to them they will do this to a child or an adult!

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