Reflections that never fade

 Lamentations 3:22-24

The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue, Fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise.

 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.

There are a lot of things that come and go in this lamb’s life and not all of it’s good nor has it all been bad either but there are one or two things that I hold as treasures which can be touched by me. For a moment there was this absurdity in glancing the WordPress new DP challenge  when I felt there was nothing of value to be considered treasures, and was a touch upset. See majority  of what I owned has been lost through pawning , loaning to never been seen again and the rest like my diamond stud earrings a  stone fell out of and has never been found. I loved those earrings, wore them everyday for nearly 10 years and now like the rest they are gone and bugs the daylight out of me that they’re gone.

Then I thought of my grandbaby, she is a jewel that can be held up against the most expensive piece of rock and she is worth so much more and way more than those diamond earrings. Here’s the thing with Riley, a person can never be a possession. I may be in charge for her care but she is not mine to keep neither can her parents. We are only given the gift of time in rearing them and the blessings in guiding until they can face the world on their own. Jesus loved the children and as His Father had assigned us to protect and teach them of His Son’s ways.

The Lord’s love will never fade from us and He can’t fade from my heart either. Now the real question is whether I can make it  with me being pretty fickle about a lot of things including whether I make this journey in the manner in which He expects, is to been seen. Material wise the one thing the object that can be handled hasn’t faded from  my heart are these books left by my grandmother Isabel Marie Peaslee.

One in particular is my favorite. Both are cooks books because for one reason or another I do not have a single photo of my grandma Isabel or my sister Robin. But my grandmother loved to cook and our favorite weekends were spent cooking something from these books. This one was used a lot more than the other which explains why it is prized above all my materially goods, even if I owned more than this book it would sit at the top of my favorites. Only difference would be if I did have more there would be enough funds to get these books rebound and now they sit held with grey ducting tape. So sad that I have to keep it inclosed in your standard zipped Glade bag.

They are enclosed because inside these books are items she placed for safe keeping, one is around 5 copies of bourbon balls one of them is in her handwriting along with other recipes, of her at one time famous fudge that everyone looked forward to at Christmas time. She used to have a divinity recipe in there to but I believe it left with the Tom and Jerry recipe that has not been made ever since the day she passed away. It was tradition in our household at Christmas Eve. My grandmother and I would spend the afternoon making the large batch of Tom and Jerry mix that everyone got together late (passed midnight) for a round of the hot drink laced with shots of rum and brandy that I was so happy as a child to be the bartender in making them.

Weird part of those heavy batter drinks that even I as a 10 yr old never got drunk off of it, do I ever miss them. The other sad part is in my family when a person passes away instead of us coming together we have drifted further apart. My grandmother was the glue, my sister was the end of any semblance of family.

But when I hold that book in my hands or even think of them I am suddenly filled with a woman who was strong, never held off on speaking her mind no matter who was there and as tough as she could be and she was tough she was your best friend. Think of the Shirley MacLaine portraying Guarding Tess and that is my grandmother, bourdon drinking loved her Johnny Cash and the detective shows that came on every Sunday. Where I would be at any chance I got, making those highball for her. Probably shouldn’t be good memories but they were and I don’t recall seeing her drunk either.

My grandmother was a lot of things but what she taught me that left the biggest impression was on  her death-bed. You can’t have someone who is strong and have them face cancer to the point of having to wear a diaper and eat baby food. She was diminished and saddened but she told me with a level clear head the day before she slipped away was that she was at peace. She was ready to go.

When that next day came my sister who doesn’t handle these situations well at all, not that anyone is supposed to but she wasn’t there with me when my grandma gave me that vital bit of information and I don’t think she would have understood what was implied either. Anyways she said to me “She going to be with her husband, back with her true love”

I told her that was sweet and yes that is where she has gone too. In my heart that didn’t seem what my grandma was implying but I felt no serious lose because she was so at peace with dying. I missed her of course but I knew she could not continue that way, it was heartbreaking seeing her not living her life and in pain. Well time has gone by and after my sister passed away giving me the same message she was ready to go home, I now know what my grandmother meant.

See she had not been concerned about reconnecting with a husband that had long passed away. We us kids never met the man. He died when my mother was just 10. A long time but what she had in her hand when she spoke to me was her rosary and it was the cross that was held tight in her palm. She knew she was going home to Jesus and that is where she found  her peace like my sister did before she slipped away from us.

Isabel’s wonderful meals like her hot dogs that no one can figure out why they tasted so good other than she knew when to serve them. She only bought Oscar Meyers, lightly steamed them, set them on a slice of white spread with butter and just the right amount of brown mustard. I make them the same way and they do not have the same flavor. Good but it’s missing her love so though she still brings me fond memories through her book, she is in a place where she is loved, just like she loved us.

Here are a few clippings of what she kept inside, a cartoon character from  1939 original and a newspaper article that ended up being a movie that for the life of me can’t recall the name and his face is seen in a photo on Wikipedia.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_F._Kennedy_assassination

  And here’s my heart’s treasure, beaten, tired and just as shiny to my eyes as the day when Grandma Isabel was alive.

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