Suddenly it dawns on me 9/11 is tomorrow. While for everyone this is our most horrible event as a nation as it is rightly so to our demise by saying we were alive when this happened. A blurb in my memories of Pearl Harbor another event too painful for some, others like me was a page or two in our history books, 9/11 hammered in their anguished pain.
This lamb loves the history stories in books. They tell of the events from the past, read wonderfully, with assorted colorful imagery; and read as that of a book of fiction tucked inside the coziness of an arm chair. Don’t get me wrong I love fictions and have tossed a few books from fright, cried and laughed but it was all in knowing that none of it’s real. This lamb reading on history didn’t quite fully feel the entire passages on those pages.
Sort of comparable to hearing of a parent’s losing their child, you know the sting, that nightmare you beg the Lord to never hand over to you but until you experience that sting it is not a sting at all. That news tears the heart apart to the point you do not know why your still breathing and forget standing it takes the body right down into the ground. You are the one who returns to the dust in which you came from. A cold anguishing that can only leave one with no way to describe.
My pain of that 9/11 was driven home to this lamb and for too many people and it’s a good thing to never forget. Normally this lamb shoves hardship under the rug, just so I can trip over it every time I pass by but to deal with it is another matter. Tripping is so much easier and that is what I did with that day. I did shove 9/11 it into every backed closets, swept it under rugs placed into storage crates with plans that it will never be taken out again.
A very poor habit of mine and this way about me that leans on avoidance made my situation and reaction of that day much worst. Part of me doing this is the very nature of how I responded to the news. Dazed by the whole condition I was in missed all that was happening to the citizens of these United States. Believe me I can recall the people taking leaps out of skyscrapers, that you can’t but it was as if it were some horrible H G Wells, don’t mean he’s a bad writer, just completely unbelievable. Shocking, in the way I felt in school hearing the assassination of John F Kennedy then Martin Luther King followed by Robert Kennedy. No one escaped the news of those 3 men, not even for a child.
How my day began on 9/11 is this, I don’t turn on the news or anything for that a matter when I awake in the morning or ever actually, catch the headlines on the internet. At that time it was the news clips on the music radio station in my 5 minute drive. 5 minutes is not enough to know what is happening and it certainly wasn’t enough for this lamb.
All this lamb heard was a DJ completely freaked over planes crashing, he was so distressed words were not fluid as radio personalities do. There was no calmness in what he said, it was a loud piercing dispair which lead me immediately to one conclusion. I literally and I mean literally believed in my heart and by the jest of his tone it was dare I say it the rapture.
I was left behind.
For nearly three hours though the news was played at work my mind was glued on two words.
I wanted to weep, no wail like you see in Middle Eastern films, wailing that is heard for miles the pain is so retched. That is not the worst part, see once I had come to my ” so called” senses and realized that I didn’t miss out, it was all stuffed under the rug, into packed closets to never be drug out again.
We never know when horrible events will come, no matter what kinds of security we put in place. I just want to be ready just incase because this lamb never wants to feel that pain again.
Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left.
Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.(NIV)
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.
I am going there to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.(NIV)
1st pic: benotdeceived.blogspot.com
2nd pic: http://www.blingcheese.com