Flat Lining

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I gotta get rid of my mindset for today and have no idea on how tp dp it. Seriously this obsessive preoccupation with flat lining must go away. The expression itself a bizarre explanation to  when a heart stops.These patterns made are proof that there’s life as it can easily be the bearer of no life at all as in the case of what happened to my stepfather last week. Saw him the week before and then he’s gone just like that.

As a member of my family may get the monitor to move but as a family unit we are all but dead. No movements will be seen other than a long flat line which showed up around nineteen years ago when my youngest sister passed away. If I were to stick my finger on when it began hard to exactly pin point because we each faked it for another ten years then no one including myself even tried to maintain a status quo. Our family abandoned itself and it was done without a squabble no fan fare just one day we were no longer connected.

Now this coming friday will be the services and it has all the makings of a coming together. Will our family continue to be flat lined or would there be a healing? Any ones’ guess because this neurotic lamb dreads going. I will because that’s what one does to respect and bring honor for those that have passed away.

Losing one of the few last heads of the family were it I could move and find far more interesting topics to harp on. This is so because my stepfather was 82 and he lived an interesting life and did so by doing what he loved music. Not saying he made fortunes as a matter of fact he didn’t. Came close to seeing some fame on the horizon, then life stepped in and stole it. Well it wasn’t stolen more of a crashing. He had a tour set for his country album in the 80’s hitting 27 on Billboard charts when an ambulance sent him for an extended hospital stay. All curiosity of a drunk driver . Yet this man was a success! How many people have made a living in this industry? Not only did he do that supported fhis family of four and still got himself to follow another passion – meeting interesting people in the likes of Europe on more than one occasion.

Flat lining has also comes in from my sweet dog of ten years. She has weakened a great deal in the last two days. The sweetest dog in the world and there’s no way I can give a good estimate on how old she is. I got her around ten years ago already an adult. Being she was tossed out of a car, no one could get the owner to slow enough to ask her age. Considering they shot her in the head with a BB gun first might not be wise getting close to anyone this cruel. So it really is truly a blessing Chloe has made it this long, unfortunately I am selfish! I want more time with her and it’s made worst by having absolutely no funds to get her checked by a vet, so all I can do is keep her comfortable.

My blog has been a case of flat lining having I hadn’t done much of anything with it. Catching others blogs in the last couple weeks was a real treat, reminding me how much I need to regulate my days better. I do still deal with the lingering problems of not having my own computer. Still borrowing these days and when I got it been working on my script which by the way as of last night completed. Reread it several times, feel that there are no typos then again this is where a second pair of eyes comes in yet that will not happen, since I don’t have a second pair of eyes to read. Tomorrow begins the real work!

Query letters with a brilliant synopsis that gets one agent to read my work. Exciting! Very helpful in getting over the flat lines going on in so many areas of my life. It has gotten me over some real humps tossed into my path. Answers to them all haven’t come across yet having these stories has gotten my eyes away from the problems. At this time I also must thank the Lord because I have a good six more screenplays to write. Wonder which one could be the magic ticket for the occupation I so desire to hold?

Today though I am really tired. Seeking for strength is needed and at these times do wish the Lord had a pill that wipes it all away, at least long enough for a good nights sleep. He doesn’t work that way does he? I ask him to take it but I don’t know how to let go. Used my screenplay for a couple of months and it helped. Actually it was a huge help. Asked the Lord to take it off my shoulders and then got down to business writing. Today I think all I did was sweep it under the rug and now I am tripping on it no matter which direction of walking.

In the meantime haven’t exactly gotten to each of the blogs I follow have chipped away at a few and what I found were some pretty insightful, interesting and so miss being an active part of such a special community. My blogs are special but it sure felt good rubbing elbows with the likes of you.

 

Pic found on : cbmjustice.blogspot.com

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