Archive | January 2014

Hearing Deficit

IMG_1118Lost in life is what I am. More than just a lost lamb who can easily be mislead. It used to be when ever I was confused on which direction to go while driving I’ve been able to find a friendly gas station attendant or a kind person to call upon. These people who help were so cute! They’d point this way then that way offering tidbits of what to look for besides street signs and because of their help  I am back on the road with in minutes heading in the right direction with confidence.

Not in life there’s not much to look for that can be seen in guidance on what to do. I’ve tried praying and I do still keep at the prayers with wanting so badly to hear pointers. I gotta change my direction but where to?  With my hearing deficit this may not be the right thing to do. Asking God for help is proper it’s the right thing right? But I cannot hear well especially when it comes to our Lord. This lamb misunderstands everything which is why I’ve stuck myself in this cockamamie truck driving!

Now that I am here I’ve got to get off this truck but I’ve got nothing, no home, no car so who’s going to hire me? I was an assistant to designers a position that has gone bye bye. This is why I am lost in life. College at my age would this help? I’m 55 going on 56 another ding for not being prime candidate for hire. With such poor pay as a driver my bills are on unpayed. Ah my list of excuses.

I know I’m opening myself too much on this posting but I have no where to turn. My good buddy her advice is to file legal papers on my employers. Right or wrong this is against my nature. Her points are valid, really valid but this isn’t my way. She also wants me to give up my partner. It only took me thirty years to find this guy and he came along when I wasn’t looking either. A man in your in life is not always the answer but at this junction I do need him. It’s not a money thing, it’s having someone right there for me. He messes up like men do but he tries; even with this he cannot offer up guidance for what turns I should make. I want it right I do not want anymore mistakes,  painful these misjudgments are to bear.

Does anyone have a solid strategy on how to get out from under mess such as this? I’m game, could use some fresh ideas!

As far as knowing what I want I know it. My ambition is to write scripts, Hollywood movie screenplays. I am not great with books or at developing quality blogs but this lost lamb can write one hell of an awesome script. I am not young, not independently wealthy, tried writing in the truck that was interesting, converter  trips turning the computer off in process, all the time. Hard on the eyes too with the jiggles With all these issues I’m not going to give up on scripts, they may not go any where still they fill me with satisfaction that I could never have imagined. My kids bring as much happiness as they do aggravation, my grand daughter pure joy right up there with writing screenplays.

Coming to the end of this posting and I have no clearer picture on what I need to do from what I want to do but as it has been for sometime I must exit that truck. How do I do it gracefully without creating more chaos? I keep asking God and I am sure he’s given suggestions but this hearing deficit I don’t receive the instructions. Lost in transition I guess.

Most likely I should have just posted these photos of my grand-baby. She’s adorable and far more interesting than my ramblings.