Tag Archive | Christian commentary

Choices

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I have been gone a long time,to the point it was forgotten that these paths were crossed before. Word Press is and has always been a great affair, one of my favorites in looking through the follies. Days and nights have gone by in a blur with the way this world works at keeping it hectic, Word Press is a blessing. When I was involved I’d carve out a piece of quiet and type my thoughts, like now.

In my office the phones are quiet (yes by the way I did find a away off that truck and not a moment too soon might I add!) my phone gave this little whistle yesterday. I answered a few calls with curiosity on what was being brought to my attention. Business had to be taken care of and in it’s course the little tune was forgotten. Today’is quiet, a pin could be heard descending to the floor. That tune played it again and there it was Word Press. The joy in seeing those two little words! Then finding out that someone found my blogs? A treat to a quiet world, just me and the clock ticking. Naturally given nothing better I jumped at the chance to see what was read, Hearing Deficit.

Yes Word Press was good therapy and it is also a place to remember where you were. I am so much further than where I was then but some how have gotten so much closer to God. The truck did offer shelter but little else. The idea of having a partner was exciting until I counted costs, this didn’t even dawn on me until the other day. That temporary fix was nothing more than a placebo. Just like Our Lord foretold,the side effects were worst than ever imagined.

All that was wanted was love, to be acknowledged that I could be alive as it’s sold in movies and commercials. Even I who is currently working on a second script leave out unpleasant scenes for time sake and the knowledge that movie goers go for escaping into a world totally unlike their own. Truth we don’t want, fantasy is desirable and that was what I wanted.

Satan lies so well doesn’t he? It seems like a reasonable choice, trade in loneliness to get someone at your side. There would be no price paid if anything the offering would be worth so much more. Tired alone, plunged for the love, Satan snickers while I began to pay the bills for sin.

I had heard of Satan ever since the days as a Catholic school girl, pictures of him are scary. As an adult told he’s really rather handsome and slick with the sales pitch. Thought his spiel would be recognizable and it would be a lie if I said I didn’t recognize it; it was just my desperation winning out is all.

Today, yes I am tired and I have fallen further than imaginable but I am no longer desperate, Jesus took care of that! Now I look forward to what else He can fix. Jesus is the Lord and Savior to little lambs as me and it’s a good thing He’s strong, attentive and patient. There’s a lot of work for Him to do in this Lost Lamb.

There is is also truth in what’s said about Lambs. They do not survive well on their own, yet I’d rather be a lamb at my Saviors side than a lion on his own. Beside male lion given a choice will eat their own young.

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I do not have to listen

mlm-prospectsDoes anyone else have a problem with listening? I do and these are voices of all sorts. Mine, a dj on radio,  news reporters from the TV,  few are what was seen in print or through unknown means and it’s all speaking about mishaps, crisis in this world. Some of these problems aren’t really even mine and yet I listen to them and grieve as if it were. I make these voices mine when they belong to another – and I hate to say it but this is my enemy. This thing crawls through my ear canals, sneaking in to where I am reading. A voice  chit chatting while I am trying to get sleep, hate that and what it does with its screaming in the attempts to have a quiet meditations. There they are successful because the meditations never happen by this constant mumbling. There has been occasion that I speak about a subject with venom and I have no knowledge other than what has been read yet I have been afraid it could word is could and it could because I still have the habit of hanging myself with tongue that brings it to come on to my path.

While these issues are there for nearly 30 days has been improvement. Being busy mentally and physically helps dim those ambient sounds from happening. This day of today has been a struggle. I blame lack of sleep from my induced preoccupation with storylines for this project and for the next. Most of that part is enjoyable until it seems to have worn me out. Tired isn’t good and it hands a place for the devil to get his foot through the door. A natural ability or talent if that is a choicest word on what skills I have. There is another talent with no proven tract record but I have a thing for “do it yourself fix its” which also gives Satan more leverage.

Good new is I do not have to listen. I don’t have to listen to the pity parties Satan throws for me, or do I have to be a repair specialist.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”It says in James 4:7 I need to keep this cultivated throughout my thoughts over what has been.

Adding what actions Jesus took ought to bring more success as it says in Matthew 4:11 – NIV version

4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

 

 

picture www.bearvalleycofc.com

 

“Oh Boy” said the Lost Lamb

Just to change things up I am starting with this silly dumb joke found on the web. It’ silly then again so can this lost lamb be just as silly and quite dumb too!

The little girl had been naughty in school. By way of punishment, she was directed by the teacher to remain in her seat after the session until she had written an original composition containing not less than fifty words. In a surprisingly short space of time, she offered the following, and was duly excused:

“I lost my kitty, and I went out and called, Come, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.”

This was selected because every single night I am outside calling with no less than fifty kitties to get the both cats indoors.

Okay so my lesson found on a website yesterday  has been dogging me and oh boy it has been done so with diligence. So where is it getting to me? Right where the author Roy Lessin spoke on how Jesus followed His Father’s guidance. Well all I can say is this lost lamb is in trouble. Not that this is news to anyone; it’s just that he did a good job summing it up by the five things he had listed. Each and every single one is exactly where I come into all kinds of assorted mischief. This list in all are the cause of completely ruining my journey on this path. Not the list but by me not following it. It has nothing to do with what I have drummed on about (hearing God, Holy Spirit.) This is honestly the small stuff as far as I am concerned. I focus on it though because it is easier to get off track that way than it is to actually be doing those five steps in the walk.

What are those five steps?

  1. Dependency on the Lord
  2. Faithfulness
  3. Obedience
  4. Motivation
  5. His Empowerment

I have trouble understanding the very last one and this lamb thinks it’s because I can’t do the other four to receive the last one where it states –

The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, for He has anointed Me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free.” Luke 4:14, 18 NLT

So okay it’s the Holy Spirit part that still has me confused. I don’t know what this is – remember how I see thinks happening as if in cartoons. I know this is just plain dumb and really don’t think it happens but somewhere feel maybe I would notice I am  not alone kind of feelings and I don’t. It is just as cold as my house is now that winter is here in the desert.

From what I can gather though in my muddle of confusion is I am not being dependant on Him our Lord. How does one be dependant, especially one one who isn’t seen nor felt?

I have trouble depending on people because basically this lost lamb has been independent since the age of six years old. I am 54 now this is not going to be done not only very willingly or met with much success. It’s not that I am not one who doesn’t trust but I do have problems when it comes to my own personal spaces like income, leaning on others when it comes to relying on them. As much as I hate being alone and have so much trouble hanging in you would think I would jump right on board with Jesus’s simple request and I do not know what will change this part after being ingrained for too many years to solely rely on myself.

Faithfulness – my beliefs in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savor has as best for me has been faithful. That is if you don’t take in account that more often than not I don’t believe it is me who gets saved. I do have serious issues with self-esteem and I do not know how to fix it either.

Since I have trouble with those two that makes obedience already dead in the water and for motivation just knowing I can’t get the others from the dependency or by not becoming frustrated in reading scripture it sinks to the bottom with the obedience so it leaves me out for reaching the empowerment phase.

So you would think it’s time to give it up? This lost lamb seems to think so and if it weren’t for me being so stubborn I would and I am not quite ready to throw that towel in. Just yet. Does stubbornness count for anything?

Sighing….. Oh boy I wonder where the next lesson will take me? Maybe this time there will be some positive news because this lamb needs it! If not I will just post only the jokes…

 

 

joke found on http://jokes.ochristian.com/Dumb/Repetition.shtml

Sights found in the rearview mirror

imagesCAFE2SVGIt could be a vital part that takes place when it comes to a close of a year. A tradition of thinking and thinking. So it is with me and I am still heading down the wrong road in looking just too much at the past.  My rear mirror shows off just too much to take and the mistakes – oh good grief so plentiful! It’s not so much today in dredging through by looking into the rear just to fix my present situation because it is clearly at a point that only prayers can be of use as reminded in today’s post by Mustard Seed Budget. The post “Less than two and half men” made the point whether I liked it or not but I knew that this was going to be the only way.

Even though it has been known all along but it can be so hard waiting – almost seems in vain like the old Bob Marley tune. As much as I enjoy the tune and know in the heart of the what “real” job I should be performing to the best of my abilities. Better than when I was a worker then I made sure it was to the very best, Then when the mood didn’t strike me to work so hard would bring out a mental the note that contained instructions for how all our work is to be for the Lord. In praising him just don’t know why I falter but it is weak.

This isn’t really the subject for me to work out it is brought about by the book mentioned in ways yesterday and it was scooped up and has taken flight by another poster and their article. Better explain that I haven’t read beyond the title. It is about a young girl selling her virginity for charity of all things. I will admit in the past have sold all kinds of things and have given some thoughts to what else can be sold – like my voice for phone sex operator. Silly I know but I am desperate but to have to actually listen to the other end of the line – just really do not want that much information about a person even if it means keeping a roof over my head. This lamb has seen what can happen just delivering pizzas can you imagine when they are paying you to hear their deep dark secret desires. Eeugh makes me shake my head with grossness.

To give away such an important key to who you are is amazing for money of all things. Charity really? Think it really is a point that the world feels we are nothing if we aren’t famous. Nonsense then this lamb thinks back to when she lost her own jewel in innocence and it gets confusing. The door had been tripped when I wasn’t quite in first grade. My mother would go visit the neighbors and their sons teenage sons would watch my sister and I. They loved to play the game hide and seek and you can image what happened when I hid.

Then at thirteen it was the sexual revolution my step father gave me the sex talk and made it seem perfectly okay just use this condom. It was all weird I wasn’t comfortable with the talk but when I reached fifteen that okay came into mind so loud and strongly so that was the age I formally gave it away. In the years haven’t thought too much about any of the situations not the one at 5 when others spoke of their horrors. It didn’t line up with theirs so mine didn’t feel so bad and its better to keep it a secret never did I tell a soul until maybe 2 years ago then no details ever have been given out and I won’t – not here either. It’s not important really it’s just that I did want to have been with only one person a husband in my life that wasn’t the case. I haven’t been with as many as so many other women but it has been too many that I cared for. So it galls me to think girls are not thinking clearly as they give it away to any one. I know this is true because I have seen it over and over and it seems to increase as time go by.

Why is it after all the revolution of women trying to explain we are worth more than meeting mens sexual needs are these young things thinking they are supposed to be giving it away? The boys too don’t seem to value their own bodies and they really don’t understand that sex doesn’t equal love or happiness.

The Lord says we are made for so much more and the world declares we are nothing without sex and fame and if it takes one to get the other that is just alright. Makes you wonder how weird and so far off track the world has gotten and it’s so damaging isn’t it?

For a long time I hadn’t measure the cost in those decisions, there was always no escaping the powerful effect it had over me. It pains me to think of what these girls are going to go through when and prayerfully wake up and I do hope they do. Not for the pain to begin but for the healing that will follow so that the cycle can be broken.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

                                                                                —1 Corinthians 12:27
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Bible verses taken from http://www.verseoftheday.com/

pic: lotsofpuppies.tumblr.com

On a Mission

imagesWill you accept this mission and if so then it’s time to get serious, really truly shoveling up the crud, maybe the use of a scraper just whatever it takes to make this change over happen. How to get it under way is my puzzlement?

As I try to ponder this there is a resounding clock ticking off the last minutes, logging that  my unemployment is coming to an end. Which is the tail of loosely bound string for support in keeping this roof and food on the table kind of end. Worst of it is this too – my own hands created this! And that is why it has got to change and in a rapid manner. Nothing like a little fire under the seat of your pants to get a move along, hate to say this but it sure looks like I function better under duress.

Some maybe wondering on how this got to be my fault and as the distance of space moved along knew though I wanted it hidden beneath to never be yanked out and certainly didn’t want to admit to the poor dealings are simply this – I keep hanging my own self with my tongue. In this space of six months and after joining up with WordPress for the sole purpose as a place to be held accountable to and yes it all went out the window with the kaput of a necessary tool the computer.  Okay so the computer has something to do with this and as with all things it isn’t the right answer or blame. It was I in believing it was the hiccup in my plans.

Having no outlet simmered into a nasty unhealthy stew. It tasted horrid and still I ate from it, letting this drool fester in what little self esteem there was. Without faith in yourself it’s hard to write a dynamite cover letter. No positive vibes were sent out into the atmosphere. All this world got like it needed more because it’s doing just fine in producing it for itself was negative feeds from this lost lamb. Can’t say I didn’t work on it because I did give it every effort. Seriously I placed a smile on my face when it didn’t want to be there. Skimmed out the yucky thoughts, these are tough buggers too they do not like to relinquish their hold on you. My focus was moved up, or away from these that should be bypassed.

So it should have worked. It didn’t. Why?

I did place Jesus there whether I wanted to or not or more like felt like it or not. What has been missing is believing that this is all possible for me. I say the words Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savor then quietly settle back down into but I am not good enough mode. It doesn’t last longer than what can be said timeline.

Whether I believe in Him or not it’s as straightforwards in fact that if we don’t believe in ourselves then who will? I lived or live in both worlds -depending on whose idea of worlds.

Been working on changing my thought process, feels closer to my acts as dappling instead of actual product producing efforts because it isn’t working. For the last month or more my time in exercise has given out, every single thing that I do has been given up. A lot of what has been done ended up being garbage anyways. So I focused on that part instead of recognizing that it was done by me, and it’s not my fault it wasn’t well received. This is part that really has to be dealt with and it was given in the early days of postings – wanting or needing acceptance.

So hard to get around that emotion – wanting to be needed. It is a need not a want to be touched, held, people who want to be around you, laughing, joking listening to as much as being listened too. My birds get frustrated if they are neglected for too long, even the two snakes skulk in the corners of their tank and the birds oh how they scream and holler until they get what they need from me. So should I have to live with less?

I don’t is the answer but what needs to be done is an overhaul. I would love to ask God for this to come about and will do but I must make this happen. Just how do you remold yourself from a shy introvert to a self confident individual? I looked up what is another word for wallflower and found narcissist. Pretty cool sounding word until you double check the meaning. Just wish I was really that interesting to warrant the intriguing label, luckily and do hope that my behavior doesn’t make others feel bad about themselves. I have in the past I say past because in the last six months haven’t faced people, other than my grand child, my one son and at that first part of the six month hiatus my brother did take major stridesto make people feel good about themselves.

All except for my brother I did make him feel bad, had to tell him that there was no way no matter how interesting could hear another word about the end of the world. Gees when your facing the bottom of the barrel you really don’t want to hear how that will drop out too 24/7 days a week. I did try to be nice but in the end it didn’t go well.

Maybe for the moment it feels hopeless, it sounds insane and it has got to be done, this mission of revamping a long lost lamb.

For one thing that could be fun is taking up the skill of thievery at stealing laptops. It’s also a good way to get those heart muscles pumping in the act of mischief. No I have no intention of spending the Christmas holiday locked up though it could help out my roof and food issues. If it weren’t for hearing about how they give you a packet of ramen noodles. Yes just the package, the kids said they opened them up pour water from the gross tap and sat on it to get the noodles soft. Then there was jail house top ramen. Don’t even want to know what that is. When I did ask he flat out told me never mind and I am still wondering how you sit on an opened package without the water content leaking out. Guess I lack the imagination for it.

The computer is to keep looking for work with also seeking out those for hire signs, rarely but they do pop up. Mission is to log in what I have done to fix my problems. Working with only myself as I have done, doesn’t provide enough reasons to keep moving on. You know you wake up after a bad night of sleep – it’s always the hot flashes or the nightmares – so I announce to no one just too tired and slip into some hobby like making Riley safe Christmas ornaments. It was fun until I got them up on the tree and my kitty thought they were awesome. He loved those snowmen and stars. Couldn’t keep his paws off. If I measured success on that reaction I am set for life! He digs those ornaments. My tree suffers for it. Now they those snowmen are hung high in a window and my tree has only ribbons dangling one third of the way exposing it’s nakedness the rest of the way down. Only wish I could put a picture of it on here. Cat smiling laying under it’s giants gift and my tree shuddering and waiting the next attack. He hasn’t given up so shouldn’t I. Right?

 

B53C8DBE353E49F2BF82DB0913DBD65CMoses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.” (Exodus 14:13)

 

 

 

 

 

pic: dreamstime.com

pic and verse found on http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/2008/09/How-to-Face-Fear-10-Bible-Verses-To-Inspire-Courage.aspx?p=4

Submitting to the peeling…Oogh that hurts

istockphoto_1041157-apple-peeled-with-twisting-skin-against-whiteIn my different stages like for now wonder just why I got onto this path because it really smarts learning humility and trust and then dreaded the one that brings on weighty tests patience.

My plans are to stay on it this round unlike the past where I hopped off by not being able to cope with  what rarely crossed my mind living like a “so-called” heathen. Never felt that way you know? Sure there were loads of trouble and some really awesome days too. What I liked and still do is it was just life,  there nothing more to it and certainly was attached to errors unless I mis-read my check book and bounced a check. Naturally it was me that caused that dilemma and it was a crisis. Now when stuff happens on instinct run to the Lord asking and demanding at times why is He picking on me! I do not like this yet it won’t go away.

Just the other day got in the mood to throw together an apple pie – like I need those calories but what the hey it is a grueling job looking for work so much so it leaves me with too much empty space to fill in. So there happened to be a couple of apples that needed to be dealt with soon or they would be too mealy for my taste. I pulled out my cool clay dish perfect for baking, heavy ceramic and clay with a 70’s glaze over it – these were acquired back when I had a job but one with a decent ringtone to the name. Ah to say designer’s assistant once again but no that is a thing or should I state it as a blast from the past. Oh to see those days again, working and being creative – ahh the good life. Sure it didn’t pay all the bills but it did pay most – all if I didn’t grab lunch out. Then there was my second job at that time and with the two I was set. Worked long hours, leaving the house at 7 am returning at 3 am 4 to 5 days a week. Yeah I got pretty tired but it was worth it and after these few month would do  it again. Being unemployed is the worst kind of work there is.

Instead a hand of mine was peeling an exquisite  Granny Smith,  a crisp tart apple with impeccable skill mind not so gifted had (and still is just without an apple) was rifling through the past twelve months. You know kind of like when you are digging for a special recipe in the index card holder except for mine is loaded down with  failures that run longer than the curl in my apple’s green outer wear.

Rolling down the line avoiding an emotional break down by keeping busy as I flodder over that time during the trial of not having been able to go to my son in Oregon, he is just fine today, out of the wheel chair still has crutches and his friends who I was worried would fade away didn’t. No one wants to do that but life is rough and messy to take one someone else’s issues and my son had to stay at a friends because his house hallway are too narrow for wheelchairs. My hand halted knew we had both survived, scars on him flesh deep, for me went close to the core. Which reminded me to watch it, if I cut too deep there won’t be enough apple left to made the mini pie and if I want which I did one strip over zillions of little apple skins on the table then must proceed with caution. It seems to never go over so well these instructions for myself, there I guess crave having shaving tumbling all over making a mess.

My thin paring blade against this juicy apple slices for another go around. Coming around a curve spiraling back into spring losing that  secured position with the government….hum a slip up with the sharp metal yikes but didn’t draw blood nor was the winding snake cropped too soon either. So trying to not keep harping on this subject! Even now I want to jump up and down with screaming rage but it won’t do any good and the headache afterwards not worth it. I know because have given it a go. Can’t even say it blew off pressure.

But with a big BUT my EDD  will end Dec 23rd even though techically have time left but from no actions by my outpouring of resumes for work from what I was before it hit the fan an assistant to working behind the counter at service stations – beggars can’t be choosy any more. I tried believe me there was effort to stay on course with the apple peel, hand slips over these kinds of thoughts, moving on to what else?

The concern – survival. My eyes glide over the crispness of the apple in hand and wonder  what it could be like to be homeless in winter, a little reconciliation not so much for the better because think I could have lots of company. Saw a sign looking for home for families. Wishing mine was fit to provide but it’s not.

Hand’s careful peeling is taking its toll thinking about the hardships, being re-raked over hot coals not only hurts but makes the peeling very troublesome. Humm oh how can one resolve these times? Go back to The Lord’s words?

This is supposed to help; why hasn’t it?

It almost feels like there is a ritual one must go through to get the message but of course there isn’t just my warped perception so I dig back to my own angel’s face Riley all the first encounters she had come across all year. On this I cut in deeper into the meat in the apple, laughing at her silliness and all the words she is learning to say. Like her “stop that you are making me crazy” “You stay I go” “Shushy Doodles” (my dog and yes she barks too much) First two lines come from Iron Giant she loves that movie and at this moment if I ever see The Little Drummer Boy again it will be too soon. She calls the character Aaron “her boy” and has watched it at least 20 times. I got it on video – can you believe I have a VCR that still works? Well it’s a good thing because it’s one of the few things that are in this house and she knows how to turn that video on. 2 years old mine you.

A little more chuckling on this part of the peeling, both her parents are players and now they have a 2 years old daughter who is showing clear signs of being a little boy crazy. Already picked up she tends to watch the boys at the park more than the girls and she has flirted with a couple at Starbucks. Clearly this was when I was an upstanding citizen.

My other divisions in the index file is the tried and failed which means ideas that I have come up with that are brilliant at conception, fizzles out by not getting them off the ground. Usually this is because of lack of funds. At the heart of it is not having enough moral support. This is a tough peel to crack and oogh it hurts.

Failures are par for the course in life. I can get that what I would love to have which is never been the case support, someone to offer encouragement when the road gets hard. Like the other day had spoken about it here – placing an ad on Craigslist. So I did. Excited as I typed up my aS, stuck it into two cities. You know broaden my horizons and reach out to more people. Ad is for a partner.

See I have this notion that would make into a terrific movie. All I need is someone who can write, clearly I can’t and never have written a movie screenplay before. But I do know this movie would sell. Not too many things that I know, such as understanding the Lord’s ways and dearly being able to grab a hold of hearing His guidance. I must be the dunst sitting the corner missing out. But when it comes to music and movies can predict what will sell and this one will.

For the last 5 days every morning check the Nook for emails. Nothing unless I count the one offering a threesome or the one stating I need to pay upfront. I typed out on a Nook which took too long – think of it like starting a rock band, they do not get paid unless they sign a deal and sell. Didn’t add that it takes that band 3 cd’s before they actually make any money, even when it’s a hit because they do not get it. When on the road they think the record company is  picking up the tabs. Nah! They are. I know about the music biz just not much about life. So there’s another card added to the dex, always with hopes it can be pulled out and worked on again.

I don’t like the peeling and coming into the holidays doesn’t help much. Thankfully  two years old’s don’t know about gifts and she is learning about Santa Claus and Christmas lights and she loves “her boy” not that she gets it when I explain that baby is Jesus one day will come and she will get it because though its hard plan to stay on course, despite grumpling.

pic: worldslife-nisha.blogspot.com

 

 

Figuring out on where to begin

Don’t know where to start and a lot of water has gone under this bridge and in taking a gander on where to leap into the flowing currents is hard. Brutally challenging but must be done in order to change my course. Sometimes these moments are good you know – keeping the blood smoothly traversing through the veins, feeding brain cell to remain a viable healthy organ.

So I have to abide my time on assorted projects – the one that gets me is the self loathing kind of work up. Amazing how much of that task absorbs the hours into days and heaven forbid it calms down at bedtime. That really kicks into high gear – stressful work and yet this carrier isn’t necessary but it gets done. Very well by me and sad part is I can’t stick that one a resume. Maybe thankfully it can’t be – hate to think a potential employer being in need of hiring a knucklehead. Could you just imagine what kind of work that would be? Might be stretching the curve for eligibility but the world could use crash dummies to perform in jams.

In this hard head it has also contemplated my few months on this road in finding the Lord, to be honest haven’t made a ton of progress here. Then I am my own worst critic. I can say proudly the only main lesson so far under my belt is that there is no way I could ever agree against the possibility of this world arriving without God. Adding with a great deal in glee that there will be no misguiding words to be used in conversations or heated debates against Jesus Christ not being my nor anyone else’s Lord and Savor. Would I past the part where I would become a martyr? Don’t think so not as of yet. Bit squeamish coming to pain. Don’t think anyone can say in advance they could make it through it but I would sell what I hold on to with fondness – my right arm to avoid it, is all I am saying.

Learning though it’s not cemented in to become a habitual trait, keeping my eyes up high and not on what I am naturally drawn to – worry, frustrations, you know the bad stuff. Still enjoying the duties in soaking up the small goodies in the day. Forgetting that I would really love to dwell on the big treasures – the spending spree at a Michael’s craft store or even try out some new clothing that can be purchased – that’s chicken feed easy to get excited over but scrapping the bottom of the barrel and coming up with a juicing prize takes work. Or does it?

For instance I got a chance to run over to Winco – boy talk about getting riled up and in talking about shopping then getting to go for food, just my favorite subject, so I was in an extra lively mood. Stepping outside then jammed for the door going for a winter coat. The wind was piercing right through my tee. One thing about the desert is it can be just as cold as it can be hot! Air here goes from warm and toasty to solid form, able to carve your flesh right from the bones and what is left will be dried out for jerky. No matter the lotion it will not be enough to keep the crocodile leather off of you. Any how it was briskly cold and the wind – not too far away they have rows miles deep of wind turbines – so you can imagine at how fast that wind can gallop over the land. I got into the vehicle and had to warm the tinsy beast up, good time to apply my lipstick and as I was digging into the bottom of my purse I happened to have seen this very good size green grasshopper, the kind where you can see the adorable face eating your cucumber leaves in the summer time.

They really are the cutest things, can see how Disney had no trouble creating such sweet character out of Jimmy Cricket – Oops, Jimmy would hate to hear that so please don’t tell him about my slip up. Keep getting off track but this cute guy took a leap just as the wind got a second wind and I watched him do a couple of back flips then seriously took a nose dive right into the dirt when it let up. He laid there and I could read his thoughts. Here’s my crude script of his inner workings…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yes it can be very difficult to see the light in the hard times but then it can also be hysterical when found, just wish I could laugh a little more at myself when I make stupid mistakes like venturing out in bad weather like this little green guy did. I can tell my bad days to others and make them and me laugh it up but when it goes down I have a sour puss sneer on my face and that isn’t funny, well it does look pretty ridiculous.

Missing you all, hope everyone has a awesome Thanksgiving just incase I never see the computer again 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1st pic: asiagrace.com

2nd pic: lcogop.blogspot.com